anonymous

I only saw you three times a year
In your happy place
Never saw anything
But a happy face

You sang Boulevard of Broken Dreams
You had such an amazing voice
Now I’d do anything to forget it
If I had the choice

Did you know what my sister called you?
“A bad nugget” she’d say behind your back
She was a 10 year old with good instincts
And you’ve turned her into an insomniac

My baby sister cries
From nightmares and bad dreams
Where you aim the gun at her
Instead of waiting for the school scene

I don’t know what happened
Or what it was that made you break
Because I can only remember you
Singing up on that stage

Now just because I say that
Doesn’t change the fact
That when my cousin pointed a toy gun at me
I had my first panic attack

Or the horror that I feel
When I can hear your voice in my head
As I read the news
Reporting what you said

I wasn’t there that day
And for that I thank God
Technically no one I loved got hurt
But I think that might be wrong

Because I can’t listen to pop-punk bands
Because their voice sounds too much like yours
I’ll never trust a gun again
Because I know what yours was used for

It’s been a year and my sister struggles
Sleeping through the night
And she never even hear the
“Locks, lights, out of sight”

So I really hope that you’re
Snug and happy in jail
Content with knowing
At the end of the day you failed

Because you may have caused people
Suffering and pain
But never again will I give you the power
Of ever saying your name